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Operation day!!!

6th October  Walking up was difficult, i felt like i hadnt slept in a week. Technically it would of been nearly a week that i hadnt of had a decent sleep. Noahs Operation was to be done early, so we went to hospital early and hadd our last few cuddles before he went, even got to give him his wash. They do it in a red soap its so theres no germs on him and that afterwards theres less risk of infection, so you need to wash every single inch of him well in this red soap. He smlet lovely though. Then we got the go ahead to walk him down to the opertion ward. I held him tight walking them 2 minutes too the door, then give him to the nurse for her to bring him in. Last thing i remeber seeing of him was him dreaming, not having  a clue what was about to happen. We kissed him our last kisses, it could of been our last time we kissed him and hugged him so we made it count. I looked at stuart and he looked like a broken man. I left him to have that moment, as i went to the breast pumping room
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Day One!

5th October 2018 First offical day in birmingham, sleep was awful. When we arrived at the hospital last night Noah was took straight to his bed and had all the checks done. His weight, length, head measured, blood took, and swabs took. All to make sure he had no infecion markers and also for his chart. The nuses seen we where draind it was about 8pm and we had traveled god knows how meny miles birmigham childrens hospital. So they said one could stay in the hospital or both could go to hotel and rest up. We decided to go to hotel. We werent going to be any good in the mess we where in. So got Noah settled in his tiny bed and even seen him open an eye. It was amazing and to top it off they said we could have cuddles. So we walked about to find this hotel which was only round the corner from the hospital, so it was great to know we werent far. Obviously as soon as we got up we went to get breakfast so we could just sit with the wee man all morning, then headed to the hospital. We got i
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The Journey.

4th October  Its thursday, woke up early as i normally would when Noah was still a wee bump, he had a time for kicking my ribs and that was to tell me to get up. I had a dream that he was still a bump, didnt think anything of it until i woke up and realisd it was a dream that he was actually lying in hospital. So as soon as my eyes woke i woke up Stuart and got dressed as quick asi could, looking like a tramp that hadnt eaten for months i was white as a ghost due to low iron and away we went. Down to see our little man, i was so happy. Few hours had passed just us sitting there staring at him, putting our hands in to stroke him and feel his tiny hands and soft hair. Because he was on special medicatoion and was very important that he didnt catch a cold or get sick in any way he was kept n an incubator. It was hard but it was only a taste of what was to come. The nurses asked us to leave as they knew we didnt have any breakfast and they had a phone call that we had to be at the air
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The next day

Getting ready So the day after all the excitement Stuart came up to see us. I needed a shower again so i got up to go to the one next to my room but it was closed. I had the most hardest walk I've ever had to do. I walked past all the new families with all their lovely little babies. The crying was the hardest. I will never forget how it felt to hear them cry, and seeing the mummies cuddling their precious gifts to settle them, i couldn't do that for my boy, he was sedated so he wasn't under stress and so he didn't pull any tubes out, but also because he wasn't allowed out of the incubator all we could do was touch him. Which was a lovely way to let him know we where there, but i wanted, i needed more, and knowing I wasn't allowed to hold him was hard. I got into the shower and while i was there even the loud running water and hair dryers couldn't stop hearing the babies. it was the quickest shower i ever had and i ran back to my room. Now when i say ran i
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1st October! Its today

The Big Day So its the 1st October, to day is the day. I have been so looking forward to meeting my special boy, and nervous at the same time. Its a nice day, we where on our way to town to get things for hospital, i was told I'd be expected to go in by 3pm, so done the school run, gave my girls a big kiss and hoping to pick them up at 2pm before i go, was looking forward to a goodbye and big cuddles. That's not how it went unfortunately, i got the phone call at 9.30am to be in hospital by 11am. I felt like i was in a box with it getting smaller and smaller. It was all happening to fast. Got there by 11am and they started the inducing progress. I wasn't dilated enough so they gave me a pessary to get me going, my contractions where coming fast, and they where very sore. It felt so unnatural, i should be at home eating curry and pineapples not doing it like this. Another family came in, their little baby has the same heart defect as our boy so i was stopped and had to wai
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Getting Nearer

Time to see the ward  So the weeks have been flying by, it feels as if we haven't had much time to prepare our self's for how things are going to be different, and different as in my girls where set straight on me after birth what way is it going to be with him? Will we get to hold him for long? Will our girls get too see him? There's still so meny questions and answers we need to know. Doesn't feel that long ago we had just found out and now we are in single figures for count down. i can't believe it. Got a date that Edith can show us round the ICU, maternity and the Clarke clinic, all the places he will be cared for, and i cant wait too see it, just so we can get a feel for it all. sorta get a jist on how and where he will be getting treatment, feeling so much more real and i wonder to myself am i ready? I'm going to have to be. 23rd August weather has taken a turn, getting cooler at nights and mornings, summer is nearly over. I cant wait to have that au
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31 weeks now

6th August Got my antenatal diabetes clinic today, will see the midwifes, baby doctor and a dietitian. Was sat for ages in the hospital, everyone was there from last week and the midwife was the first one i seen. Took my blood pressure, checked my urine and went threw who i was too see next. So next on the list was the dietitian she went threw my eating and said that i will need insulin for after my breakfast as my bloods where at the highest then and out of target. Went threw a new diet plan and she helped me write out when to eat my carbs and how meny to have. Was finished in about 20 minutes with her and next step was the baby doctor to have a growth scan for their records to make sure the wee man isn't growing to big. While waiting i had some lunch as i was starving, with this diabetes I've been eating more regularly which seems to be doing me good as i don't need the urge to binge eat then. As anyone knows with kids it's hard to get time to eat regularly and ma
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