The next day
Getting ready
So the day after all the excitement Stuart came up to see us. I needed a shower again so i got up to go to the one next to my room but it was closed. I had the most hardest walk I've ever had to do. I walked past all the new families with all their lovely little babies. The crying was the hardest. I will never forget how it felt to hear them cry, and seeing the mummies cuddling their precious gifts to settle them, i couldn't do that for my boy, he was sedated so he wasn't under stress and so he didn't pull any tubes out, but also because he wasn't allowed out of the incubator all we could do was touch him. Which was a lovely way to let him know we where there, but i wanted, i needed more, and knowing I wasn't allowed to hold him was hard. I got into the shower and while i was there even the loud running water and hair dryers couldn't stop hearing the babies. it was the quickest shower i ever had and i ran back to my room. Now when i say ran i walked as fast as i could. Running wasn't an option as id of wreaked myself. :D
So i got into my room and dried my hair to go see Noah. We got there before lunch and his new doctor came too see us. Congratulated us on our boy and said he was coping well. So we sat for hours just watching him, waiting to see when we would be going to England for his operation.
The family that had their baby with the same condition as Noah we seen going today to England. So we got to see how he would be transferred over, which helped us as we knew what to expect, but because he went we had to wait and see if we where going tomorrow. We left for some dinner, and the midwifes said that she would go threw some paper work for me to go home, i was so excited to go home but nervous as well. Waiting to get my tablets and things sorted, so we went to see Noah again.
Said to good night t our boy as we had a hint that we would be going to birmingham tomorrow.
On the drive home i felt so emotional, the fact that i was a new mum again heading home with no baby, a empty house and a big day ahead of us. Driving out of the hospital i cried the whole way home, my son was left in hospital on his own because the ICU didnt let parents stay. Even if i could stay i wasnt strong enough i was high outa my head only a few hours before and had hardly any sleep. My husband the same alothough he didnt get to be high. He was running on hardly any sleep worrying the night before about me and Noah.
Got home and it didnt feel like home, i felt empty, to be honest i didnt know how to feel, i just wanted my baby. So exhausted i went straight up to bed and as soon as my head hit the pillow that was me, away into dream land.
So the day after all the excitement Stuart came up to see us. I needed a shower again so i got up to go to the one next to my room but it was closed. I had the most hardest walk I've ever had to do. I walked past all the new families with all their lovely little babies. The crying was the hardest. I will never forget how it felt to hear them cry, and seeing the mummies cuddling their precious gifts to settle them, i couldn't do that for my boy, he was sedated so he wasn't under stress and so he didn't pull any tubes out, but also because he wasn't allowed out of the incubator all we could do was touch him. Which was a lovely way to let him know we where there, but i wanted, i needed more, and knowing I wasn't allowed to hold him was hard. I got into the shower and while i was there even the loud running water and hair dryers couldn't stop hearing the babies. it was the quickest shower i ever had and i ran back to my room. Now when i say ran i walked as fast as i could. Running wasn't an option as id of wreaked myself. :D
So i got into my room and dried my hair to go see Noah. We got there before lunch and his new doctor came too see us. Congratulated us on our boy and said he was coping well. So we sat for hours just watching him, waiting to see when we would be going to England for his operation.
The family that had their baby with the same condition as Noah we seen going today to England. So we got to see how he would be transferred over, which helped us as we knew what to expect, but because he went we had to wait and see if we where going tomorrow. We left for some dinner, and the midwifes said that she would go threw some paper work for me to go home, i was so excited to go home but nervous as well. Waiting to get my tablets and things sorted, so we went to see Noah again.
Said to good night t our boy as we had a hint that we would be going to birmingham tomorrow.
On the drive home i felt so emotional, the fact that i was a new mum again heading home with no baby, a empty house and a big day ahead of us. Driving out of the hospital i cried the whole way home, my son was left in hospital on his own because the ICU didnt let parents stay. Even if i could stay i wasnt strong enough i was high outa my head only a few hours before and had hardly any sleep. My husband the same alothough he didnt get to be high. He was running on hardly any sleep worrying the night before about me and Noah.
Got home and it didnt feel like home, i felt empty, to be honest i didnt know how to feel, i just wanted my baby. So exhausted i went straight up to bed and as soon as my head hit the pillow that was me, away into dream land.
Comments
Post a Comment